Audition Notice – Self Help

• No Preparation required.
• Selections from the script will be provided for a cold read style audition — no prepared monologue needed. Individual auditions will begin at 6:30pm at their scheduled time as per the online registration link below.
• If you are not able to complete the online registration, we will entertain walk-in auditions starting at 8:30pm on the selected audition dates. Actors are asked to arrive at 8:15pm to complete the audition form and will be seen on a first-come, first-served basis. 
• All experience levels are welcome!
  

Rehearsal Schedule:  Sundays, Mondays & Thursdays 7:00 – 10:00 PM, at 1408 Bedford Hwy, beginning Sunday, November 29th. 

Cindy Savage (Age: 30–50): a former actress who tries to revive her fading career by adopting a new persona as a self-help, motivational speaker. Cindy is charming, ambitious, confident, dramatic, and energetic and she is able to seamlessly shift between her polished, public icon image and a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Hal Savage (Age: 30–50): Cindy’s husband and former stage partner throughout their many years together. Like his wife, he presents as charming, calm, and polished, but he is also pretentious, affected, and very easily flustered. Hal is a bundle of neuroses, and he plays it with barely-controlled, theatrical panic.

Ruby Delvecchio (Age: 40–60): the bossy, no-nonsense business agent for Cindy and Hal. She is tough as nails, practical, and has absolutely no filter. She talks fast and authoritatively, and is totally focused on trying to hold the Savage’s self-help empire together. She is intelligent and worldly-wise, but can be tricked by those even more desperate than herself.

Bernice (Age: 18–30): The scatterbrained, naive, and absent-minded housemaid for the Savages. Bernice innocently and perpetually misinterprets pretty much everything that happens to anyone and everyone due to her consistently literal interpretation of the chaos that is happening all around her. Her attempts to cope adds greatly to the overall comedy of the play as she never seems to “catch on”, but also, never gives up trying to. 

Detective Snow (Age: 40–60): Snow is a disillusioned, seasoned police investigator who remains unimpressed with the Savage celebrity status and who serves to steady the manic energy of Cindy and Hal. He delivers his observant and dryly humorous insights in a deadpan manner, which nonetheless also adds greatly to the dichotomy of punchlines and panic. And one discovers there is more to the detective than initially meets the eye.

Jeremy Cash (Age: 25–40): Jeremy is an ambitious and outrageously nosy investigative reporter who is determined to dig up any dirt he can to bring the Savage empire down just to get that “big story” and laud and glory for himself. He is high energy, relentless, and most certainly not to be trusted. Jeremy is not a guy who would ever be tormented by sacrificing the needs of another against his own wants.